Earlier this week I wrote about being inspired by a group of youth to share more of my journey with the world. Although it has been somewhat scary to share this, it has also been inspiring at the same time.
Through my late teen years and early twenties, I spent a great deal of time learning to express myself through poetry and prose. Since I began writing, precious few have seen my works, as I always felt they were deeply personal. Because I felt so many things in my life had been taken without my permission, I viewed my poetry and journals – my thoughts – as one of the few things that I truly owned. I have always been weary to share them with others for fear that they would be stolen or ridiculed.
In spite of those fears, I finally published my first book this week. After editing the text and designing the cover, I felt a great sense of accomplishment once I saw the finished product posted online. Yet, even with that wonderful feeling in my heart, there are still moments when I look at it on Lulu.com and wonder, “Am I really doing the right thing?”
In those moments of doubt, the words of my high school literature teacher come back to me. On the last day of my Senior year, she said to a group of my friends, “Be good to her because one day, your children will be reading her poetry.” While I do not hold lofty aspirations, and it is well past time for many of those children to be reading what I have written, her words remind me that someone cared. Someone believed that I had something of value to share with the world, and even though there are times that I want to take my poems and hide, I should do my best to live up to that belief.
On that note, I should get back to work – I have 10 years worth of poetry type up.