Just Average…

Just the other day, I had someone ask me if I had a Bucket List.  I laughed and replied, “No.  Great movie though.”  They said, there’s really nothing you want to do?  I said, “No.”  They said, “and no where that you really want to travel.”  I replied, “Not really.”

After thinking for a few moments, I replied that I am pretty happy with my life.  Beyond helping others, and making people happy, I really don’t have any major long-term goals.  I talked about how when I was a teen, I had a plan.  However, the days are long since the last check on that list expired, and not one of the items on it were accomplished – and that’s ok.

I also mused about the fact that I am a bit of a worrier.  I stated that if I am not careful, thinking about tomorrow, or next month, next year, turns into worrying about, make that obsessing over, obstacles and what if’s.  It’s a lot healthier for me to take things one day at a time, and enjoy life as it comes.

Yet, this morning I realized that it’s a bit more.  Growing up, I spent a lot of time trying to be exceptional so that I could live up to the standards of others.  I worried about not being good enough.  No goal was ever attainable, and no matter how hard I tried, the bar just kept moving just out of reach.  I would get so wrapped up in my hopes and dreams, that when they did not come true, my heart would be so broken that sometimes I didn’t want to go on.  By the time I was in middle school, I was so tired of trying that I gave up.  I stopped having goals, I stopped trying to be more.  I just wanted to be normal.  I wanted to be average, and I wanted things to just be simple.

It took quite a bit of time for me to stop worrying about hitting the mark, but I finally did.  While I still had hopes and dreams, I was a bit more of a realist about them.  I learned that it’s ok to just achieve…

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