Neurosis…

Today I thought about how one day, if I have children, the time will come when they will want to spend the night with their grandparents.  While I know that nothing would happen to them in my mother’s care – I know that I will be afraid to let them go.

Why?  Because my father never let me spend the night with anyone other than my grandparents and his niece.  The only places he ever allowed me to spend the night ended up being the ones where I was molested.  Yes, after I moved in with my mother, I had quite a few positive experiences at sleep-over’s – but that will not stop the fear from coming to the surface.

Who knows, I may never have children – but if I do, I don’t want to be one of those neurotic parents that are afraid to let their children do anything.  I don’t want my past to cause them to miss out on the wonderful things in life.

Of course, everyone always says that knowing is half the battle.  Maybe realizing where my fears come from will help me to calm them when the time comes…

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